I was the Democrat who went to a Trump rally and changed my mind. Here's the moment I realized the conservative right is no better than the political left.

There's more than one red pill to swallow.

When I woke up and left the left in early 2020, the contrast that the political right provided seemed almost too good to be true. This was a surprise because I had always hated the Republican party. As a child of the 90s, I distinctly remember when they were the ones trying to censor art, music, video games, and music. They blame it all on Tipper Gore (they like to conveniently forget when their own party behaves badly) but the original cancel mob was Republicans going after the Dixie Chicks for daring to stand against the war in Iraq.

And yet, 20 years later, I found myself in a position of seeing the Republicans as the last bastion of sanity, the ones who were defending against the woke culture that the Democrats were forcing on all of us.

I suppose, for a time, it was true. In 2020, it was the Republicans who were offering a big tent, seeming to support individual liberties and a live and let live mentality. Right after the election, I was at the Million Maga March in Washington DC and watched as a crowd of Trump supporters surrounded a man that was yelling extremely homophobic things. They chanted “Trump loves gays!” to drown him out.

But after Joe Biden got inaugurated, the conservatives started letting their true colors show again. All of a sudden, gays weren’t welcome anymore in conservative circles. They were more than happy to take their votes in 2020, but after the election was over there were multiple “discussions” of whether or not LGBT people should be “allowed” in the MAGA movement. I even participated in one of them.

Slowly, the big tent started to fade. Prominent influencers declared who was and was not “allowed” in “their” movement and anyone who disagreed with them was mobbed by their supporters.

Around April 2021, I gave up on the GOP entirely (mostly because I got a glimpse into the inner workings of the party and knew it would never adjust to be an effective movement). But I still had hope that perhaps they would prove me wrong.

And then I was canceled by the right for my spiritual beliefs. The same people who preached the 1st amendment and individual liberties just a year ago seemed to decide that if you’re not a Christian or a Jew, you’re not welcome.

I’ve practiced a generalized spiritual belief system for over 20 years. It’s a little woo-woo - I believe in energy and law of attraction and tarot cards and astrology and all that - but more than anything it’s about love. I believe God loves everyone unconditionally, regardless of our behaviors in this human experience. I believe we live multiple lives and that the purpose of life is to experience a variety of things - everything from the most profound goods to the most vile evils - and that we make choices about what type of life we want to have before we are even born into it. This isn’t a belief system I’ve invented - I’ve been blessed to have teachers all over the world.

In December 2021, I was experiencing pretty severe clinical depression. I was trying not to show it in my public persona online, but the reality is that it was bad. And I was engaging in more spiritual practices to try to heal and release the trauma that had caused it. One day I found myself in an hours-long conversation on Twitter where I was answering questions of morality around abortion and if we were under a moral obligation to stop it. No, I answered, we were not because everyone makes choices about their lives and that may be a part of their path and everyone - including Hitler - would go to heaven so death wasn’t something to be afraid of. I certainly said it more trolly than that (again, I was depressed and probably acting out), but I agree and stand behind every word I said. I was quoting a best selling book called Conversations with God as the basis for my argument. In that book, it literally says “Hitler went to heaven.” This is from the Kindle edition of the book:

I’ve always found such inspiration in that quote. One of the most evil, vile men in the history of the world went to heaven anyway, because God’s love is so great and so unconditional that it’s impossible for us to even fathom it.

As an aside, I also don’t believe that hell is a real thing. I think it’s a human-created thing designed to keep people subservient through fear. So, practically speaking, there’s just nowhere else for someone to go after they die, regardless of their actions in life.

Well, the “good” Christian conservatives on the internet didn’t like this, and they took a single tweet out of an hours-long conversation out of context to paint me as an antisemite all over the internet. I was even canceled by PragerU, an organization that literally uses the “we’re censored!” line to raise money. All for a spiritual belief.

But what was even more offensive about this is that I had literally been fighting REAL antisemites for months before this happened. I had been attacked by a mob of thousands of people in a “white wellbeing” movement because I refused to say that critical race theory is “anti-white”, which is their language that they are trying to insert into the cultural zeitgeist to recruit more people. After this happened, I spend a month doing in-depth research to expose what they were doing. I published that research here. I’m still called a Jew (as an insult) all over Gab today because of all of this. They say I’m not white, I’m a Jew, and that’s why I won’t say CRT is “anti-white.”

This was a story about ACTUAL antisemites, one I had literally tried to get conservative media to cover for months before I decided to give up on them and do it on my own. Conservatives cared so much and so deeply about antisemitism that they refused to cover it.

But the minute I tweet something they don’t like that basically says “God loves everyone unconditionally,” they cancel me severely for daring to not practice their Abrahamic religion.

Conservatives don’t care about antisemitism. If they did, they would have covered the story I did when I begged them to. Not only did they refuse to do actual journalism to figure out what was going on, they refused to share it once I did their journalism for them. So much for being deeply committed to fighting the evil antisemites in their midst.

But a few months later, they had absolutely no problem branding me as an antisemite while conveniently forgetting that I was the only person who was willing to document the actual antisemites.

If you believe that conservatives will do the right thing if given the opportunity, I hope I’ve clearly burst your bubble. They care about power just as much as the woke left and they will say and do whatever they need to for it. They may have not always been the same monster as the left, but they have certainly turned into it now.

When you wake up and red pill to everything the woke left and the media have done to this country, you can never unsee it.

But, the same is true on the right - once you see the raging hypocrisy of the conservative right and their influencers, you can’t unsee it. And almost everyone you might consider to be a conservative influencer is in on it, with few exceptions. They know exactly what they’re doing. They’re following the playbook of the left, speaking their approved talking points, and bringing home fat checks for it, conditioned upon never telling the truth.

Speak against them and their worldview and they’ll come for you in the same way they came for me.