Disillusion

I think one of the hardest parts of taking the red pill, for me, has been the disillusion with everything.

And I mean everything.

When you take the red pill, you have to watch your entire world fall apart in a very real way. Everything you knew to be true is suddenly called into question. I remember I was on a zoom call with my community one day and we were talking about the unibomber’s manifesto. And I had to stop and ask if I had been told the truth about the unibomber (they claimed I have, I’m still not sure why I don’t believe it).

I was at the Boston Marathon bombing in 2013 with my husband. I still don’t know if I was told the truth about that. I’m not sure I want to know.

And so on and so forth. You start to reverse engineer everything in your life, and you begin to find out you were probably lied to about almost everything you thought was true.

If you wonder why someone might question the 2020 election results, or not buy into your bullshit narrative about January 6th being an insurrection, you need look no further than the list of lies they’ve been fed their entire lives. Mostly peaceful protests cost $2 billion of property damage, but it’s the orange man’s tweets that are the problem. Ending inflation means making investments in climate change. Kyle Rittenhouse was a white supremacist.

Your world collapses around you when you realize just how much you’ve been lied to by the people you rely on to tell you the truth.

And then there’s the people.

My red pill journey was different because it happened in a public way. I didn’t intend it that way, it just sort of happened. I thought I was doing the right thing, and maybe you could make an argument that I was. I ended up around a lot of influential people…the people I was told were the ones I could trust in 2020. They were the honest “journalists”, the ones who would tell the unpopular truth, the opposite of the mainstream media.

And almost every single one of those people has turned into a resounding disappointment. Not all of them. But most.

There’s been more than one red pill on my journey. The first red pill was in February of 2020 when I finally woke up to how much the media and the Democratic party had lied to me for 20 years. The second was when I woke up to what bullshit artists conservative “journalists” and influencers are.

It probably seems that I have more disgust and disdain for the political right than I do the political left. I don’t know that it’s more disdain. I think it’s a different type of disdain. On the political left, I feel they have been brainwashed from years of indoctrination and are mostly useful idiots. But on the political right, they KNOW what the problem is…they understand it very clearly. And they REFUSE to do anything about it.

Conservative “journalists” and influencers know precisely what the problem is. And I really think they believe it’s a problem. But the vast majority of them care far more about money and status than they do fixing the problem.

That’s almost unforgivable to me.

There are three types of people in the conservative news/politics/commentary/punditry/influencer/content space.

There’s activists. Activists are people who understand the problem and TAKE ACTION with the goal of making real change to try to solve the problem. They’re the people doing things, teaching people, passing laws, creating/changing culture. These are the people on the front lines.

There’s entertainers. Entertainers are people who understand the problem…and truly believe it’s a problem…but are not going to take action to fix that problem. They pretend to be activists in order to make money.

Typically, these are failed actors or comedians who have made this their backup gig. They get to have a platform and in exchange, they parrot the approved talking points while silently agreeing never to solve the problem because then the likes, shares, and RTes would dry up. Their goal isn’t to turn back the cultural revolution - it’s to achieve five-figure speaking gigs at events paid for by conservative PACs. It would disgust you to know how much money is thrown around for the entertainers while the people doing the work often struggle.

And then there’s grifters. The word grifter is thrown around too much so that it’s become virtually meaningless. But grifters do exist - they are people utterly devoid of any moral code, who latch their claws onto a movement and will say literally whatever they have to for status. They usually have no discernable talent and so they make their way by telling people whatever sweet nothings they want whispered in their ears. I’m not sure these people believe in anything beyond what they can exploit to turn into cash in their wallets.

I used to think there was a forth category of people called “journalists”, but apparently those just don’t exist. You’re not a journalist. You’re an ENTERTAINER. Andy Ngo is likely the only conservative that I believe is a true journalist. I think Glenn Beck is the real deal - he puts his money where his mouth is. And I think Tim Pool is a journalist and appeals to a conservative audience (among others)…but I don’t think he’s a conservative.

That’s it. The rest are ENTERTAINERS. Yes, even Tucker.

Don’t get me wrong, I think Tucker is an ok guy, this is not a commentary on his character. I’m not making a value judgment. If you want to rake in a ton of cash, the conservative content space is a really good way to do it.

But that’s a problem if you’re an activist because a lot of people out there are being “entertained” into believing that more is being done to combat the problem than is actually being done. It also means the journalism that needs to be done - the actual news people need to hear about - is rarely covered because the people who are supposed to be journalists aren’t doing their fucking job because they’re too focused on entertaining. And God forbid the actual problem ever be out of favor with the news cycle. Do you guys think Critical Race Theory is out of schools just because the conservative media has moved on to grooming? Nah, the teachers are just getting more insidious about it but no one is covering it because the news cycle moved on. CRT isn’t ENTERTAINING anymore.

Conservative “journalists” and influencers know better and yet they refuse to get in the game. The red pilled ones even make the excuse that they’re brainwashed, because once you wake up you never really go back to sleep. They know what’s up. They just don’t care.

The second red pill you take is when you wake up and realize that very few people on EITHER side are good. No one actually cares about the problems they claim to care about, on either side. And the people who really do care and who are willing to do something about it are stuck in a constant, neverending, steep, uphill at a 10% grade, trajectory.

And you realize there’s no one coming to say you. People know there’s a problem, but they aren’t willing to do anything about it. And the audience doesn’t seem to know the difference or care because they’re too busy being ENTERTAINED by the side show.

Authenticity is really and truly dead.

I was reading about the Chesire Cat from Alice In Wonderland last night, and it talked about how the Chesire Cat has insight into the workings of Wonderland as a whole, explaining to Alice that Wonderland is “mad.” Wonderland is a place ruled by nonsense and, as a result, Alice’s normal behavior is inconsistent with the group culture. This leads to Alice appearing “mad” in the greater context of Wonderland.

I feel like I’m one of the few normal people left in a world gone mad, but because of the context of the Wonderland I’m living in, I look mad simply because I’m a normal person surrounded by crazy people.

Does it ever feel like that to you? Leave a comment and let me know.

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P.S. I quit Twitter today, for a little while at least. I’ve decided those who live to hate me need a detox from their obsession with hating me. Maybe they can even go get jobs.